Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
