Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
