Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
