sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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