she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
