You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
