I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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