My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
