Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(705): View more from Ontario

Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence

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(705): Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence http://tfl.nu/779y

Replies (66) Good night (20517) Bad night (1334)
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(805): View more from California

found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.

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(805): found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt. http://tfl.nu/65bm

Replies (24) Good night (6353) Bad night (689)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.

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(860): I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus. http://tfl.nu/nv5c

Replies (17) Good night (4348) Bad night (766)
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(775): View more from Nevada

soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.

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(775): soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class. http://tfl.nu/nig5

Replies (73) Good night (907) Bad night (13263)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"

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(248): I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train" http://tfl.nu/x0cf

Replies (32) Good night (3526) Bad night (1060)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue

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(617): Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue http://tfl.nu/zfyk

Replies (8) Good night (4785) Bad night (1447)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.

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(780): I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/raiw

Replies (9) Good night (2461) Bad night (1417)
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(251): View more from Alabama

Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.

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(251): Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now. http://tfl.nu/uhhh

Replies (7) Good night (1051) Bad night (3071)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.

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(731): He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver. http://tfl.nu/fyob

Replies (8) Good night (2192) Bad night (615)
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(360): View more from Washington

ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.

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(360): ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all. http://tfl.nu/5hyy

Replies (9) Good night (2258) Bad night (603)
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(425): View more from Washington

'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.

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(425): 'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight. http://tfl.nu/r78k

Replies (6) Good night (967) Bad night (466)
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(315): View more from New York

She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her

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(315): She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her http://tfl.nu/g7bc

Replies (1) Good night (774) Bad night (451)
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(585): View more from New York

I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?

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(585): I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/qqo1

Replies (8) Good night (551) Bad night (420)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse

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(719): I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse http://tfl.nu/h22m

Replies (2) Good night (917) Bad night (430)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show

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(920): Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show http://tfl.nu/ziv2

Replies (0) Good night (469) Bad night (177)

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