Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  Fuck U Mike is a golden god.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Mike give steph back her phone.

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  (858): Fuck U Mike is a golden god. (504): Mike give steph back her phone. http://tfl.nu/vnnr
  Replies (9) Good night (3267) Bad night (600)
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  (323): View more from California

  Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!

  (206): View more from Washington

  Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...

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  (323): Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people! (206): Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003... http://tfl.nu/95ks
  Replies (38) Good night (861) Bad night (2277)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.

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  (905): FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk. http://tfl.nu/mb8o
  Replies (37) Good night (1135) Bad night (5427)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.

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  (801): i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away. http://tfl.nu/p1dq
  Replies (20) Good night (2929) Bad night (3885)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.

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  (248): If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme. http://tfl.nu/8vj2
  Replies (12) Good night (7800) Bad night (1294)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out

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  (217): you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out http://tfl.nu/t2x9
  Replies (42) Good night (10895) Bad night (1249)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.

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  (928): I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos. http://tfl.nu/xt2r
  Replies (23) Good night (4252) Bad night (798)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.

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  (406): i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine. http://tfl.nu/dm6s
  Replies (22) Good night (1056) Bad night (3073)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I will miss his soup and his dick the most

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  (561): I will miss his soup and his dick the most http://tfl.nu/ampu
  Replies (7) Good night (1601) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.

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  (901): I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking. http://tfl.nu/t4jf
  Replies (11) Good night (4871) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer

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  (+44): We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer http://tfl.nu/3muy
  Replies (6) Good night (1173) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...

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  (305): You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol... http://tfl.nu/hrys
  Replies (7) Good night (508) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)

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  (972): Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :) http://tfl.nu/7aie
  Replies (1) Good night (701) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?

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  (516): Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep? http://tfl.nu/76br
  Replies (7) Good night (902) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.

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  (513): Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough. http://tfl.nu/b714
  Replies (4) Good night (386) Bad night (270)

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