can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.