Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(620): View more from Kansas

Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?

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(248): View more from Michigan

You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week

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(815): View more from Illinois

come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.

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(516): View more from New York

my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now

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(503): View more from Oregon

Just invented taco cereal.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.

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