So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.