just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?