How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize