Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
