dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
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My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
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I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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