Ambien. No doubt about it.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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