how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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