Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
how drunk are you?
Several
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
