Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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