just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
