Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
