You really coming over, don't trick.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
