You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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