well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
