Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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