Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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