Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
