People with herpes should wear stickers.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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