I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
