I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize