I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
