I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
