its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
