there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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