i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
