Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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