im so drunk with asians
where?
always
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
