its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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