susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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