Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
