i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
