Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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