My liver just broke up with me...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
