Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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