Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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