just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
