ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
