My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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