Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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