im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
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My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
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Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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