their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
