It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
