why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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