i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i can't believe i had my finger in that
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize