do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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