She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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