and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
