***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
