What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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