We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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