we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
