thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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