i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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